“The best instruments are sometimes missing a string” – Agni
Yoga
When one encounters a talking dog, one is usually impressed
that it can talk at all, and not so critical that it’s grammar and diction
aren’t perfect.”
“Do not be so concerned with my outward form, but take what
is in my hand.” – Sufi saying
Sometimes I scare
myself. I say things to people, and then, later, I think, “I shouldn’t have
said that. They will think less of me, or they will not like me, because I was
too open.” It is precisely at these times, that I need to remember that I don’t
have to be perfect. These reminders that I’m human can be very beneficial, as
long as I don’t get lost in them. There is both the lesson that I shouldn’t
take myself so seriously, and also, that maybe I should sometimes talk less.
Sometimes one, or perhaps both lessons, are usually best served with a pinch of
humour, which when left out, can ruin an otherwise great recipe.
When I teach T’ai Chi, the Teacher takes over, and I let him
guide my actions, as teaching for me is more than a conscious process. I let
all the knowledge, good habits, and practices that I have stored in me come
out, for in this role I am a Vessel of the Teachings. As such, I have developed
a habit not to let my personal limitations get in the way of imparting what I
have to share. Occasionally I use my own experiences as teaching stories to
facilitate the transfer of what is sometimes very eclectic and esoteric (passed from
teacher to student) wisdom. In this process, I trust the Teacher within me to use all
the knowledge that I have. This, at times, requires me to sacrifice my ego and
self reveal my less than perfect, human qualities.
Usually this is good for me, and facilitates my personal
growth, but it is not always easy for me to accept. The line here that divides
the professional from the personal, is in whose interest, the students’ or the
teachers’, the story is told. (Am I doing this for the student or for me?)
Sometimes this isn’t so easy to differentiate. Often this is where I find that
I need to accept that it’s ok not to be perfect. The adage “To err is human, to
forgive is divine” can well be applied here to forgiving ourselves, and again,
a little humour in this process can go a long way.
As the New Year begins, it is with the resolution for me
both to do my best and to forgive myself more easily when I’m not perfect. How
others decide to deal with my imperfections is up to them, and should not
cause me to be overly concerned, as long as my intention is good.
Thanks to All,
Daniel
